Real talk

Honestly I don't know where to start, 

I am the kid who wants to be honest, but I'm not sure.....Paris has been amazing, I'm able to say what I want, and none of you knew who I am..... Well you will tomorrow. Anyway,

Paris is an escape from the real world, you go there 

And let your heart run free. 

I haven't said much in class, I'm more of an observant one in the way of high school trying to be noticed but staying quiet because 

I'm afraid, I'm afraid that if I try to be noticed I will be ridiculed, cast out, and humiliated.

That's the problem, I'm like smeagle and gollum, apart of me does and apart of me doesn't. Sad to say that we live in a judgmental world, I just wish that people could be themselves and that there weren't any cliques. (But that's like asking for world peace.... It won't happen) 

I've been thinking so much lately, this is the year our lives are going to change forever, 

But I don't feel ready for college and church services and marriage... Wow

It's quite crazy to know the decisions I make this year will make or break the rest of my life. 

The thing I'm most worried about right now is for both of my brothers, I can see them doing things or making rash decisions which will hurt them forever. 

Another thing is I don't want to let my parents down, even when I'm hurting I just need to hide it, because I don't want them to worry about me, my mom tries so hard to influence my older brother and nothing works.

My family is so important to me....

You want the truth... Fine

The truth is my older brother who I have looked up too for my whole life just made the decision that he wanted nothing to do with the LDS church

When I heard that my heart broke for him, I felt as if everything I saw in him changed, I was so upset, he has been the example to my whole family and me, and now the pressure is on my shoulders, I felt as if I was hit by a train all the force baring down on my shoulders, and I'm scared that I know that everything I do can influence my sisters and little brother.

 

And when I leave at the end of this year I'm afraid I'm afraid that things could happen to tear my family apart..

I also have regrets, I regret that I took this class and I didn't take full advantage the whole year on my blog and journal. 

Through some of the year I was a tourist, 

I'm sorry Nelson... 

I wish I would've figured it out earlier,

Goodbye Paris, you will always be in my heart,

Cya tomorrow 

-Hank Gathers-

I Will never forget...

I remember all the times I have with my cousins.

I remember every single family reunion that I have with my moms side, all the mischeif we have caused.

I remember ordering pizza in a hotel in California with all 100 of my cousins and uncles and aunts at midnight. 

I remember throwing paper airplanes off of a 10 story hotel inside and watching them go all over the place, the fish tanks, peoples food.

I remember swimming in an all inclusive resort in Mexico at midnight with all my cousins. 

I remember all the Nativities we do with my cousins at Christmas time.

I remember 3 years ago in thanksgiving time all my cousins came and celebrated.

I remember playing football in the park and eating until we couldn't anymore. 

I remember my cousins all watching me get my eagle. 

I remember my grandma was too sick to go to my eagle, but my dad was able to broadcast it to her.

I remember the night....

My cousins had left a few days after thanksgiving. I was down stairs playing madden 12, I was in a season with the Eagles. I had just scored a TD with Michael Vick when my sister burst into my room crying. I asked her what was wrong, barely able to talk she managed to say "Grandma isn't breathing anymore" Immediately I ran up stairs in able to believe . Seeing my precious grandmas lifeless body lying there. My mom and my aunt were on the phone caller her other 8 siblings and telling them the horrible news. Every times they said it to her siblings and their families I could hear crying, that made the tears run evermore. I remember going back to my room and playing madden trying to ease the pain, but it didn't work. Then I remembered the last words she said to me 

"You are my hero, "I love you so much"

-Hank G-

Song of the week

Lost by Coldplay

-Hank G-

Good song

A little ways longer-group love 

A good song.

Hank

Secluded

Great song

Clint Eastwood by the gorillaz, go give it a listen 

Instructions to a meaningful post

1.DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO YOUR BLOG POST, YOU WILL FORGET.

2THATS IT!